Just beet it

If Mother Earth had a favorite food, I think it would be beets. Deeply maroon spheres with wispy tails and wild bushy green hair, beets look like they have a story to tell. Their guts are firm and range in color from blood red to light pink and yellow spirals. Their taste is organically earthy--like the sopping wet loam you find hidden underneath blankets of thick moss. They are shy creatures, though, as they rarely make an appearance in standard fare. Only the most adventurous, Earth-loving people wrangle beets on a regular basis.

Before receiving a bundle of these little critters in my CSA box, I had never tried them. A shame, really. I have Meadville to thank for a lot of things, I suppose. For the last two years I scoffed at the suckers who had to spend their summers bogged down in Meadville. I was certain that a summer vacation in Meadville would be lonely and stale. Boring. Beige. I pictured a sad, empty town complete with tumbleweeds and ill-fitting tank tops. This summer has been living, breathing vibrancy. A slurry of late nights with summertime friends. Laughing with the local bakers and coffee-shop owners. Picnics and iced coffee in the bleachingly hot Meadville sun. New music pumping life into the walls of our creaky, ancient apartment. Plucking young vegetables from the Environmental Science

departments experimental garden. Big, bright flavors dancing out of our tiny kitchen. One of the boldest and sunniest treats to march out of our kitchen was beet pizza. With beautiful local beets and spicy pepper jack cheese, this is a slice of Meadville summer. A wedge of a more independent, brave, Earth-wrangling and friend-making Crumb Bum.

(As it turns out, pizza is ridiculously easy to make at home. Seriously. Do it. )

Spicy Beet Pizza

Serves 2-4

Crust from Smitten Kitchen, the rest from the mind of Bum.

For the crust:

1 1/2 cups flour (I used whole wheat*)
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon active dry yeast
1/2 cup lukewarm water (you may need up to 2 Tbs. more)
1 tablespoon olive oil

For the sauce**:

A few of your favorite tomatoes

A sprinkling of brown sugar

Some fresh basil (preferably plucked from your college's garden while skipping home at 2:00 am after a particularly good 4th of July party)

Salt n' pepper

For the toppings:

3 large beets (the greens, too!)

1 medium onion

Your favorite amount of pepper jack cheese

Make the crust:

Combine flour and salt. Dissolve your yeast in 1/2 cup lukewarm water. Add the yeasty mix and

oil to the dry ingredients. Stir all ingredients together into the best dough ball you can muster. Flip ball out onto a lightly floured surface, kneed daintily, and form into a ball. Oil the bowl you just used to mix the dough. Return the dough to the newly oiled bowl and cover lightly with plastic wrap. Let it nap for 1-2 hours, or until it is doubled in size.

When the dough is thoroughly rested, flip it out onto a lightly floured flat surface (I use a cutting board, as my counter is dappled with mysterious sticky spots). Gently press the air out of the dough, and let it be for another 20-30 minutes.

While you're waiting, preheat your oven to its top temperature and...

Make the sauce and toppings:

For the sauce: Cut your tomatoes in half (if you are using cute little plum tomatoes, leave them whole). Sprinkle with salt, pepper, and brown sugar. Throw them into the oven for about 15 minutes, or until soft enough to squish.

While the tomatoes are roasting...

Chop the toppings: Peel the beets and slice into thin medallions. Take the bitter veins out of the greens, and rip the leaves into bite-size pieces. Slice the onions thinly. Shred your cheese. Set all topping aside. That was easy!

The tomatoes are starting to smell sweet and lovely...

Return of the sauce: Take the tomatoes out of the oven and slide them into a medium bowl. Take a fork or whisk, and blend until mostly smooth (I like mine chunky). If you prefer yours to be velvety smooth feel free to use a blender at this point). Stir in ribbons of basil.

Assemble your pizza:

Make sure your surface is still dusted with flour. Roll out your pizza dough to your desired thickness. Slip the circle (or in my case, wobbly oval) onto the baking sheet you used to roast your tomatoes. Adorn your crust with your sauce and veggies. Practice your Feng Shui, and arrange your topping harmoniously. Sprinkle cheese over top of everything, taking care to make sure your greens are mostly covered (they may burn if there is no tasty milk fat to protect them). Pop your pizza into the oven for about 10 minutes, or until the cheese begins to blister. Don't turn that dial, or the pizza may cook unevenly. When the unbearably delicious fragrance drives you to jump in the oven with your pizza, remove the pan and allow it to cool as best you can (my impatience usually trumps the safety of my taste buds at this point). Cut into uneven slices, and serve with red wine (preferably the kind with a cute goat on the label).

Showin' how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beet it, beet it. .

*Some will say that all purpose is the way to go, but I say nay! Use whatever flour you like. Spelt, quinoa, rice. . it's all gravy.

**You can use any sauce you like, really. You can even leave your pizza mostly naked (just drizzle some olive oil on the crust)!

Take another little piece of my scone now, baby..

These sour cherry oatmeal scones are the Janis Joplins of the treat world. If they had vocal chords, their voices would sail until they were horse--serenading your taste buds until your last bite. Their silvery pitch of sweetness is punctuated by a rustically raspy oatmeal crumb. These scones have deep soul, man.

Their look is delicately decorated, but the headstrong flavor of the sour cherry slams through the lace exterior with wild thrust.Their bluesy bite and folksy texture is unlike anything you've ever tasted before. A synchronized synthesis of soft and hard. Sensual and lonely. Wild and reserved. These scones' dynamic flavor swings and swoons with your mood, saying just what you need to hear. And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I’ve had enough,

But I’m gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough.

Bullied by the bourgeois cream scones, these scones perfected unconventional attitude. They find solace in the Lead Bellys (sourdough pancakes) and Bessie Smiths (persimmon pudding) of the treat world. These scones howl for social justice and peace, aching to be consumed by any and all people. Believe in your brother, have faith in man, help each other, honey, if you can.

They will kick and scream for your love and memory. Once you bite into this scone, you will promise to never forget their aching beauty.

Sour cherry oatmeal scones

[Makes 8 hearty scones]

Adapted from my mom's old PTA cookbook

1 cup whole wheat flour

3 Tbs. dark brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/3 cup cold butter, cubed
1 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup dried sour cherries
2 eggs
2 Tbs. milk (I used whole)

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.

Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Cut in cold butter* until the butter resembles little peas. Toss in oats and cherries and mix to get them mingling. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs and milk. Add the milky mixture to your dry mixture. Stir gingerly, until combined.

On lightly floured surface, pat the dough into a roughly seven inch circle. Cut into 8 wedges--if you find your knife sticking to the dough, just give it a dip into some flour before continuing to cut. Place wedges on ungreased baking sheet. (Insert egg/milk wash here if you are feeling particularly fancy today). Bake your wedges in a 400 degree oven for about 10 to 12 minutes. They are done when they are lightly golden around the edges.

*If (like me) you don't have a food processor or pastry blender, use your hands for this step. 'But what about using two knives?!" you say? I can't get the hang of it. If you like that clean route, take it. I'm gonna get my hands dirty. For tips on using your hands to cut butter into flour, I recommend this page: http://www.bonappetit.com/tipstools/tips/2008/04/how_to_rub_butter_into_flour.

Enjoy with coffee or tea (or Joplin's favorite: Southern Comfort). Spread peace and love (or butter). Eat while listening to "Ball and Chain".

I mean, if you gotta' care for one day, man.

I don't mean, if you, say maybe you wanna' care for 365 days, right? You ain't
got 365 days. You got it for one day, man...

That's a crunchy tune, man.

Note: This post is dedicated to a Ms. Stanko, who needed a crunchy recipe in her life.

I love crunch. It has texture. It has sound. It talks back. It strums to the beat of your jaw. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. You can swing your hips to it. Tasty music.

Maybe I prefer to crunch because I hate tasting silence. My limbs fly every which way and my legs go all wobbly. I fight silence with the power of giggles and cheeks full of blush.

Example:

My partner and I went to a lovely little bakery with the promise of free day-old artisan bread and biscotti. The young lady working behind the counter was perfectly nice, if a little hesitant. I'm probably intimidating. I'm normally a friendly person. Certainly polite.

But it seems everywhere I go a thick, clumsy fog nips at my heels. My normally articulate conversation devolved into babbles and grunts, and I did this odd shuffle/spin/shuffle combination when it was my turn to order. Then it was the cash register. Why is that when I had to pay for my goodie [I chose chocolate biscotti], I went limp and radiated a ruddy pink? I think it is the horrible silence that fell over the counter. The silence that stood between me and my dunk-able dessert. The silence of invisible information channels approving my out-of-state debit card. The silence of the cashier calculating the slim tip I gave her. The silence of wanting something extra. I barely remember the "Have a lovely day!" I wished the cashier, as I shuffled/spun/shuffled away from the counter so quickly I nearly tripped over the clumsy fog that followed me in.

The fog dissipated as soon as I lifted the biscotti to my lips and crunched through its buttery core. Crunch crunch crunch. I can breathe. Crunch. My cheeks cooled, though they remained a light pink (as they always do). Crunch. The sound of wanting something extra. Crunch. An extra I can hear. Crunch. A want I can swing my hips to.

Should you so desire a crunchy conversation with your food, I am here to share the crunchiest recipe I have. I'm talking Funkadelic crunchy. The kind of crunchy that makes you want to drop out of college to buy new Birkentocks and learn how to play bass guitar. If you enjoy the liberating crunch as much as I do, you will find this granola delectable.

Cherry-almond granola

Adapted from Everybody Likes Sandwiches

[Makes enough to fill the better part of a Ziploc freezer bag]

2 cups rolled oats
1 tsp cinnamon
pinch of nutmeg
1/4 tsp salt
3 Tbs oil (I used Safflower)
1/4 cup honey, warmed slightly
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 cup whole almonds (any nut will do)
2/3 cup dried cherries

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, toss oats with cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. In a separate bowl, whisk together the oil, honey, brown sugar and vanilla until they are one. Pour the honeyed mixture into the oat mixture and use your hands to combine the two until everything is mingling and gooey. Don't forget to rise your hands before you go on to the next steps (as I did).

Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper and pour the mixture over top. Spread evenly. Bake for 5 minutes. Open the oven and use a spatula or a wooden spoon to stir your granola. Before sliding the pan back into the oven, sprinkle the cherries and almonds over the granola. Resist urge to eat scalding hot granola. Bake another 5 to 8 minutes, or until golden brown and fragrant. Really trust your nose during the second round of baking, as I have lost many a batch of granola to stringently suggested baking times.

When your nose has told you it's done, remove the baking sheet from the oven and let the granola cool completely. I like to eat my granola with yogurt and blueberries, as a proper Washington State 'hippie' is wont to do. Store in an airtight container and enjoy when you need some texture and crunch in your life.